Interesting and Ridiculous Names
by N Harmonic
Summary: Summary: I found this prompt#-like picture on Pintrest, I own nothing: The crew sometimes use alias when going into town, shopping etc.(to avoid unwanted confrontation) and their favorite 'game' is to introduce each other with the most ridiculous names imaginable. T for crudeness buts I don't believe there's any cursing...


**Interesting and Ridiculous Names**

 **Summary: I found this prompt#-like picture on Pintrest, I own nothing: The crew sometimes use alias when going into town, shopping etc.(to avoid unwanted confrontation) and their favorite 'game' is to introduce each other with the most ridiculous names imaginable.**

 **So like I said, I'm a pinner, and I came across this pic on Pinterest and decided to write a fic that goes with it. I DON'T OWN THE PIC, THE PROMPT#, OR ONE PIECE, sadly (cries in corner)**

 **Btw, I suck at insults, innuendoes, and pretty much everything you can think of so I did something I rarely do *shutters* research- ugh! If your name is somehow mentioned, I mean no insult to you.**

 **Btw2, I don't know much of their Strawhats traveling days with Traf-guy, I've only just recently began to watch it in anime form again cause the story of Cora-san is on.**

 **~?~?~?~**

We find ourselves in a random, buffet restaurant with the StrawHat pirates and their ally Trafalgar Law; everyone, but Law, taking a break from Doflamingo hunting to eat in bulk without losing their stocks. It was cheap, satisfying Nami, and all you can eat food and beer; satisfying everyone else. By now, the conscience eaters were done and were waiting for the over-eaters to finish.

"We're wasting time here," Law groused, watching the Strawhats attack their food. "Doflamingo could hear of our location and our element of surprise will be gone."

Nami smiled reassuringly; happy as this was paid for by a pirate they'd raided that day. "Calm down Traf-guy," she said. "It's not everyday we get to go out and stay on land for a night."

Robin nodded with her own smile. "At most, Doflamingo will find our location when we set sail tomorrow and kill us all," she said.

"Oi!" Usopp barked at her in horror.

"That won't happen will it?!" Chopper asked in horror.

"Let him come," Zoro grinned, happily drowning in the unlimited sake. "I can take him down easy."

"Not if I get him first," Sanji said, lightning a smoke.

Zoro's forehead became pinched. "You wanna fight shit-cook!" he shouted, shooting up.

Sanji got in his face. "What of it marimo?!" he barked back, biting on his cigarette.

"Neither of you would stand a chance!" Law bit in, then blanched as he realized yet again he'd been dragged into their stupidity.

"Yohohoho! What youthful exuberance!" Brook announced.

Franky shot up too, planting his foot on the table. "Suuuuper!" he said, "Come on Brook! Let's write a song about super! youthful fun and beer!"

"Yay! Bway! Bway!" Luffy shouted around his mouthful of food. (Play! Play!)

Before they could burst out in Bink's Brew, they were interrupted by a foreign voice. "Congratulations!" a feminine voice beamed.

The StrawHats and Law paused and turned curiously to see their waitress standing at the head of the table with an envelope and camera. Sanji was instantly taken by her 'beauty'.

"Mellorine~!" he cooed, hearts in his eyes.

Nami ignored him. "What do you mean?" she asked, tilting her head, eyeing the envelope.

The waitress waved it with a smile. "The record for the most drinking of our special brew called: Kick-Ass is drinking three bottles," she smiled at Zoro, "He's already consumed seven!"

Zoro's face fell into one of surprise. "I did?" he asked; he hadn't been counting.

The waitress nodded, still beaming. "You've received a check for three thousand berry and your picture on the wall of fame," she said, then pulled out her notepad. "I'll need your names to put on the list."

The Strawhats, save Law and Zoro, all glanced at each other with secret smirks and grins. Sanji spoke first, smacking Zoro's shoulder.

"His name is Jackson Daniels," he announced with a wide grin.

Zoro blanched, his head jerking to side as though he'd been struck before he smirked as well. "Well this is Alfredo Piza," he said, ribbing Sanji.

Sanji growled at him. "Oi!" he barked and they instantly went into fight mode.

The waitress tried to interrupt. "Ano- I don't need his-."

"And this is Ben Dover," Nami said gesturing to Luffy, who was still stuffing his face. "But only if you feed him," Nami cautioned.

Luffy looked up and swallowed. "What was that Dixie Normous?" he asked, snickering at Nami's horrified face.

Robin laughed and Nami gave her an evil look. "What so funny Wendy Wacko?" she asked dangerously.

"Haruharuharu!" Robin laughed to herself. "Nothing at all Ms. Normous. Or do you prefer your whole name?"

"Um-," the waitress said weakly; not sure what to think of these… strange names…

"Yohohoho!" Brook said, suddenly next to her, "May I look at your panties miss?"

Sanji suddenly kicked him. "What's wrong with you Richard Tips?!" he demanded.

Zoro snorted, bursting out laughing. "Dick Tips?" he laughed.

"What horror!" Brook mocked, "Yohohohoho!"

"With our pal Morgan Woody," Franky added in, patting Chopper.

Chopper giggled. "And Jack Groff," he laughed, smacking Franky's arm.

"Don't forget me!" Usopp shouted, stepping on the table. "Captain Willie Strokes!"

In the background, Law and the waitress were watching horrified as these obviously psychotic people gave out their 'names'. The waitress looked at Law, slightly frightened.

"And you are?" she asked, almost afraid to know.

Everyone gave Law evil smirks and the man gained an almost horrified look. Luffy laughed.

"Why he's Big Teetees of course! Shishishishi!" he laughed.

 **End.**

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 **So there is it. I might do a different story later with the same prompt# but different areas, like two at a time rather than them all but I wanted to include Law cause his reactions are epically hilarious and I wish he'd just accept that he's a StrawHat.**

 **Btw I don't know about the rest of you but I'm hopin' that Oda-sensei will have Bartolomeo join the crew. Those who don't know him; youtube him. Bart-kun is the ultimate fanboy, falling into the levels of creepy, stalker-ish, adorable… But we all love him.**

 **Til next time,**

 **Ja ne~!**


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